三十而立

那天去阿贝家吃饭，饭后阿贝问说要不要去看阿宝的女儿，我说好阿。结果我们买了一个摇篮电动玩具，就上门拜访阿宝。眼看着当年SSH的大姐在逗着她宝贝玩，还蛮感触的。咱们自由潇洒的大学时光，已悄然逝去。
大姐问，“怎样？三十而立？”我以傻笑回应。
阿贝跟大姐说我要去法国出家了，大姐一脸紧张问道，“真的吗？真的吗？” 我说没有啦。
嗯，谁知道呢？

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

手痒

无意中闯进了一个画展，还跟那位画家聊了一下。画家太太问我有画画吗？我告诉她我以前学过。她说看了画，又想动手了吧？
她这么一讲，手开始有点痒起来。

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Real security

Today, feel like reconnecting to an old friend, a teacher. Downloaded his mp3 into my office computer but was later absorbed into my work and don't have the timespace to listen. After the day of battle and back to home, though tired, I make it a point to read few pages of his book before doing my daily meditation. One particular sentence strikes me and clears my anxious monkey mind : ... the real security is being open to insecurity, the real security is being open to uncertainty.

A sense of appreciation arises in the heart, for the teaching of an old friend, a teacher I never met, Godwin Samararatne.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

始于一念

没参与藏传佛教活动有两年多了， 最近参加了图丹却准 (Thubten Chodron) 的讲座和禅修营。讲座所依据的论典正是当年自己所喜欢的《入菩萨行论》(寂天菩萨著)，当时还常常将其中的偈颂当晚课来念颂。藏传佛教吸引我的地方在于其对慈悲心量技巧性的高度开发。所谓的技巧引用了各种观想、思维。虽然从时间上来看，藏传佛教属于后期大乘，行式上及一部分教义夹杂了一些印度教的色彩，但是其在开发心量的技巧方面是确实有效的，这是我自己本身在运用《入菩萨行论》来做观想功课的经验。

最近接触了一个时间管理与建设目标的方法，叫简单学 (simpleology)。里面也运用了观想的方法，来观想生活中所想要达到的短期、中期及长期目标，清楚并具体地将他们列出来，并天天设定任务来渐渐完成这些目标。我用了简单学，也确实较有效力的完成了所设定的目标。这箇中道理和藏传佛教所强调的修行目标(成佛)，具体化成菩提心的修持，并通过修行的功课如十万大礼拜来渐渐完成, 是相通的。

中国人说一年之计在于春，一日之计在于晨；千里之行，始于足下。我说千里之行，始于一念！

breathing, walking

Get to know Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh from his book, Old Path White Clouds. In the book, Buddha was depicted as an ordinary human being with extraordinary love and understanding, who walks on earth.

In the recent 5 days retreat in Port Dickson, I have the chance to come up close to ven. Thich Nhat Hanh and listen to his teaching. The practice that he teaches is simple and down to earth: mindful breathing and mindful walking.

After one week of the retreat, while walking in the garden, I still remember the song or sentences he taught to practice mindful walking:

(breath in, walk for 4 steps...) I have arrived. (breath out, walk for 4 steps...) I am home.
(breath in, walk...) In the here. (breath out, walk...) In the now.
(breath in, walk...) I am solid. (breath out, walk...)I am free.
(breath in, walk...) In the ultimate (breath out, walk...) I dwell

The teaching that inspired me the most is when he said that the real attainment is not to be able to walk in the sky, but to be able to walk on earth, which is actually a miracle (地行神通) that Master Linji used to speak about.

It was quoted from Record of Linji:
临济录示众（大四七·五○○上）：‘夫如佛六通者不然，入色界不被色惑，入声界不被声惑，入香界不被香惑，入味界不被味惑，入触界不被触惑，入法界不被法惑，所以达六种色声香味触法皆是空相，不能系缚此无依道人，虽是五蕴漏质，便是地行神通。’

"Those are not the six supernatural powers of a buddha, which are entering the world of color yet not being deluded by color; entering the world of sound yet not being deluded by sound; entering the world of odor yet not being deluded by odor; entering the world of taste yet not being deluded by taste; entering the world of touch yet not being deluded by touch; entering the world of dharmas yet not being deluded by dharmas. Therefore, when it is realized that these six - color, sound, odor, taste, touch and dharmas - are all empty forms, they cannot bind the man of the Way, dependent upon nothing. Constituted though he is of the seepage of the five skandhas, he has the supernatural power of walking upon the earh."

Although I don't experience any of the deep states explained above, I do feel lightness of heart and joy arises from gratitude that... I am walking.

四楼

阿明打电话向我求救，说公司把他囚禁了起来。拿了半天假，凭着他的两个线索，当然还有谷哥老大，终于让我找到囚禁他的大楼。我遥遥的看到他在四楼，偷偷跟我招手。我打999，然后像间谍片一样的在楼下的餐厅，点了一杯饮料，等待警方到来。

xxx

“知道四楼是什么地方吗”警方问我。我说不懂。“那是合法被雇用来置放工作准证被取消，等待被遣送回国的人的地方”她的语气理所当然。

xxx

在四楼。“我不知道你在看什么文件，刚才警察说你要找你朋友讲话而已，没说你们会有文件交换” 彪型大汉说。

“这是我朋友的合约，他看不懂，我要拿走代他看”我坚持。

“不行，我们只是代理人，到时雇用公司问起来，我们不要有麻烦”

再拨九九九。我问警方代理公司是否有权不让我拿阿明的合约，警方回答“那老板快到了，你跟他谈吧”

xxx

在劳工部。“现在我们也不能做啥啊。如果我现在打电话去公司问‘你们怎么还没还他薪水？’，‘我们打算在送他上飞机前再还他，可以吗？’答案是...可以的”劳工部的阿姨说。

“但我可以告诉你的是如果上飞机前，如果你的朋友还没有拿到该得到的数额的话，他是绝对有权不上飞机的，然后再找我们处理” 阿姨补充道。

总算在今天听到一句比较像人讲的话。我指文明人矣。

最后，我能做的唯有把阿姨的话转达给阿明。

还有，在心里头嘀咕:
CAPITALISMSOCIOCULTURAFUCK.

Leap into the Maya

After many postpones, finally get to watch Inception at midnight show with Ki. I always like movie of similar genre, where the story crisscrosses between Maya, world of illusion (or dream in the Inception)  and the world of reality.

The Matrix (1999) have just one level of Maya, while The 13th Floor, a movie of the same year, brilliantly having another extra level of Maya within the Maya. Well The Inception upped the ante by adding another Maya within the Maya of the Maya. Leornado's acting is emotionally convincing and i totally enjoyed the breathtaking flow of the story.

How sure are we that we are not living in the Maya of our own creation? When we hail the leap of faith, are we not leaping further away from the reality?

星期天的天

刚看完 Exam, 一部没有大场面，没有CG特效，却看得扣人心旋、惊心动魄的电影。运用人与人之间的矛盾与极端的情境，所刻画出衣冠楚楚底下人性最原始的面目，这总是百看不厌的题材。

看完那病态似你欺我诈(但又看得很过瘾)的画面，望着窗口，拍下了星期天的天。愿你的心情，那么晴朗。

双城记

卫塞晚上同柏木于古城徒步游行，500年历史的古城与2554年的纪念，时空交错。而我，依然摸索着那超时空的智慧，并且...忘记带手机去拍照留念。

XXX

隔天，我们下石头城。柏木是去帮bhante带活动。闲时，我们就在后巷一个角落谈天。这时候，木总是要抽一根万宝路，而我看到了午后阳光把店屋影子在地上拉成长长的齿状，想拍下来... 又再忘记带手机。

XXX

最后，还是木用我手机，拍下了寿星公的贺寿尊相，谨此留念。后来我也MMS给你了，你收到了吗？

月圆前夕

走去BL上课途中，觉得月很明晰。

明天就是他的生日了，心中感到宁静、喜悦。

NLPing

It's considered an escape for me to be able to attend Dr. Sid Jacobson's NLP lesson in the midst of my hectic routines. He's a great presenter, magnetic, convincing, humorous and... a democrat (we enjoyed his democrat jokes).

At the beginning of the lesson, we were asked to close our eyes and recall the time when we started to learn the one skill that we are damn good at now. The image that popped up in my mind was the time when I just finished my high school exam, sitting in front of the computer and learning C by myself with tremendous curiousity. Dr. Sid then asked us to think of a person who is giving us guidance on that process of learning, slowly my mind traced back to my high school principal, Mr. Tee Pak Leong, who happens to be my Add. Math teacher too. Though he didn't teach me programming logics, but he's the person who induced a great deal of curiosity and fun of learning in me, to find out how mathematical formula originated and to dig into the very root of a problem not just to solve, but to fully comprehend it. According to Dr. Sid, to recall this particular moment helps prepare a good state of mind for learning.

Among all the interesting and brilliant points that floating around the entire day, one particular point sticks in my mind: whenever we have conflicts, the fact is that each individual's subjective perception of the world is different, to accept this fact as it is and to try to understand the other person's world will be a much better move, instead of getting frustrated.

Through another of the lesson exercise, I was labeled as a person who tends towards kinesthetic plus visual expressions. Interesting. Lesson to be continued tomorrow...

阳光猫

上班途中看到躺在阳光里的一只猫，徐徐地翻转着身体，享受着晨光的温暖。由于全球暖化，最近早晨的阳光其实晒得有点刺刺的感觉，想不到此猫却乐在其中。昨天看一个记录片，在墨西哥一个高度酸性的洞穴里，有一种菌类却仰赖着这种人类难以生存的环境，积极地存活滋长。我想，在平凡人觉得忍无可忍、极端恶劣的环境里，一个人如果熬过了，就不再平凡了。这时，如果尚能苦中做乐，那便是—

最高境界。

trick of memory

different time, different angle and a different view at the same spot...... of memory.

Rock as it is

Just back from David DOr's concert in esplanade. He has a fantastic voice and his genre is versatile, but somehow the melody and rhythm didn't leave a lingering effect in my mind, maybe due to the switching of so many different styles tonight.



Though one of his song did give me a kick in my heart. "Like A Garden", a song about cultivating mind like a garden, inspired by Ven. Cheng Yen, is simple, dhamma, and contemporary, yes rock and roll man. Few years back while I was at the CT Harvest church Xmas party, I ask myself why there's no contemporary band that plays dhamma songs in contemporary music? Tonight I felt that David DO'r did it - not over holy smoly nor trying hard to be contemporary - just natural as it is.

That kick strengthen my determination to do something too, I want to write apps for iphone & android like daily pop up of Buddha Vacana..

转变

昨天吃午餐时，发现肥猫的地盘已经从巴士站转移到美食中心来了。转移阵地后应该过得还不错，肥猫又更肥了一码。

我想这应该是我最后一张以200万象素拍下的照片，过了今天我将会转用一个500万象素的电话。

xxx

昨晚 Bhante 侃侃谈到现代在家人和出家人其实在修行上是拥有着相等的机会的。古代社会的在家人其实相对上受到很多社会家族的制约束缚，那时候出家是一个走出封建社会的方法，并获得自由。但是那是一个从一个比较安定的生活走入一个三餐不济、居无定所的清苦生活；随着时代转变，现在的人对自己的人生有着更多的自主权，于是也有更多的时间去规划自己想要做的事情。只要有意愿，在家人亦能够好好地升华生命的心灵层面。

非裸行結髮，非塗泥絕食，臥地自塵身，非以蹲踞住，不斷疑惑者，能令得清淨。
嚴身住寂靜，調御而克制，必然修梵行，不以刀杖等，加害諸有情，彼即婆羅門，彼即是沙門，彼即是比丘。《法句经 141、142》

* 嚴身即指在家

我觉得英文翻译来得比较清楚直接:

Neither nakedness nor matted hair nor mud nor the refusal of food nor sleeping on the bare ground nor dust & dirt nor squatting austerities cleanses the mortal who's not gone beyond doubt.
If, though adorned, one lives in tune with the chaste life — calmed, tamed, & assured — having put down the rod toward all beings, he's a contemplative a brahman a monk.
(Dhammapada 141 - 142)

Opus 133

Went to listen to orchestra at Victoria Concert Hall. The last piece was Beethoven's Große Fuge, Op. 133, composed when he was completely deaf. It has this massive energy but somehow incoherent and jarring tunes made me wonders whether it's due to the deafness that he has lost touch with sounds.


Yet, in the midst of the jarring tunes I do find tint of joyfulness.
Isn't our life so?

坐过站

昨夜回家坐过了站，来到了eunos，
看到了另一番张灯结彩的风景。

在人生旅途中，自己所面对的际遇、
到目前为止所处于的境遇，虽然一部分好像的确是自己所经营的成果，但大部分其实为好多外围因素的纵横交错而形成。(难以事事如意)

如果站点就好比自我设定的人生目标，当人生坐过、错过了站，与其自责、埋怨，是不是能够停一停，欣赏那另一番景色呢？

99cm

Listening to Zee Avi, 99cm away.
Her voice is exactly sweet as in the album, but...
surreal.